I can practise day by day, my magic tricks, just to see you smile.
Strum my guitar, sing out loud to you, just to keep you entertained.
Go around the world, if i'm rich, to get you all the things that you like.
Even let you go, seeing you leave, for you to be with some other guy.
The only thing that I CANT, is to see you SAD.
But for a man who loves that girl, it's hard not to be jealous as she gives no certain answers.
...
He's in doubt.
bold italic underline link
On this very last day of Year 2008, it's time for self-reflection and also what is awaiting for me in Year 2009.Year 2008 is the best year for me in my entire life. Never in nineteen years have i been working for something i want this hard.Though they didnt turn out what i expected, it was still nice to have that experience.Attachment was really an eye-opener, refreshing experience.Doing projects had been tiring, but yet fun and i never get tired of doing mostly because of the companionship and something intangible. Well, this year, i screwed up a friendship, and its still in that awkward status right now.Oh wait, it's two i guess, but i wouldnt consider the latter as a friend, its something more.Well, family-wise, i changed pespective towards my mom, still trying to do that for my dad.which is really relaly hard. heh. i'll try still. same thing goes to my brother.I know and have identified the main stressors in my life.Learning more about the homeostasis in me, i should really start to look at things differently.Will work hard for love. It was just today that i stepped back and realise where things were going. And noticed that not everything i thought was good came out well, it backfired pretty much actually. Nonetheless, i'll not give up.Thinking about my next step of life is army. I really regret and regret and regret not being able to focus on studying in year one, wasted one and a half years rotting. Hearing people talking about choosing different Uni's to decide really makes me feel so wasted. If only i had someone there to influence me earlier, guess we'll be on the same track now. If you'd ask me whats the major influence of my life in adolescence stage, this will be my answer. It's you. and it's going to change me for the rest of my life.I guess what's said is said and what's done is done,so all i want to say to you now is,Thank you for being part of my life.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
hmmm went mini-shopping with nick ytd, heh
thanks to nick for my dream deck of cards! hahhaha yeahhhhhlove it. 
errrm, went to naomi's church after that.and wow really, the band's good and almost everyone can sing! cool.even the pastor has an amazing voice! and his preaching material was interesting too =)maybe god is testing my determinationthat you deserve someone better than me.becoz he loves you,that i have to work harder in becoming a better person. a test of faith, he says.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
would you accept this flaw of mine, while im changing it.help me through, dont close me out. im self-aware, i know whats whats.i cant overcome, thats the thing. ..........
p.s. i dont want what else to say.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Preparation for Cambdia Trip. Why am i like that?
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
i love something that can be so painful,its contradicting yet not considered ironic. the ache only comes in just before i go to sleep,yet my subconscious added the salt to the wound by letting it happen in my dreams. I care for it, i try to touch,but backfire *boom boom, not worth for much.
what do you want me to do.
4:37 AM
i dont think i'll enjoy much,but pretty sure i'll learn alot more. tsk
Monday, December 22, 2008
im sorry, but i've been waiting for so long =)
Sunday, December 21, 2008
get over with it. i told you and you know it.so now i gotta prove it.
Friday, December 19, 2008
and i dont want the world to see me,coz i dont think that they'd understand.when everything's meant to be broken,i just want you to know who i am.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
i can sense your disappointment in me,this is bad.
we are so different, but we still gaze at the same moon, the same sky.we live in the same world.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
cant believe i did that yesterday. hahahhahahahha omg. hahahhaahhaa.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
so darn excited for the cambodia trip!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
you looked at me as if something was wrong,didnt know how to react but look away.nonono, im a changed person. internal struggle - **** i thought i was over it.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
haha i think im not a competition kind of singer. i get so nerrrrvoussss hahaa.okay back to projects
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Orion Finals tomorrow =) Today's rehearsal was good, hope it turn out well tomorrow!Nick, wilson and Ben coming down.SRY NICK cant make it for the video shoot for you! Woah, dunno how to describe the song tomorrow, lol heh.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
woah dammm stresssss!Singing competition on Friday, GOT ICA TOMORROW! haven study!today, tomorrow got whole day rehearsal, im so fucking dead! Thank god for nick, went to his house to pick up the blazer for performance.THANKS AH NICK HELP ME SO MUCH, see you only my stress level down by alot! hahaokay my right eye is ****ing pain now, need to sleep after eating. BYEBYE!
Monday, December 1, 2008
How'd i celebrated my birthday, or how they celebreated mine? haha.
11:19 PMFirst up, took a girl's number.Then got pushed into the fish pond by Pokvin that faggot,who ran away straight after pushing me down, you suck at dota!hahahhahahahaa. thanks everyone for remembering my birthday.19 oh 19.
its ma bird-day
12:34 AMplease let me have a good dream tonight =)